The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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