dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
he told me I talked like a deaf person
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
