Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Randomize
