you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
Randomize
