And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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