im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Randomize
