Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
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Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
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