I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Randomize
