Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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