I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
