I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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