KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
