YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
