The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
so that wasnt chicken after all
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
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