There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
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