now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
