I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
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