It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize
