i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Randomize