I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
