It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Randomize
