Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
I need moral support for this bender
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
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