someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
40s are totally the cure
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
