I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
