it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
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The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
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