You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
Randomize