The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
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