too bad you live with your parents still
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
