Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
he shaved USA in his pubs
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Randomize
