idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
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