I puked a lego.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
foreskin is a definite game changer
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize
