Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
