break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
