I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Randomize
