he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
high people should be assigned attendants
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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