At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
I believe in your delicious
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
