my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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