Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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