I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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