god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
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