I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Randomize
