yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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