yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Randomize
