I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
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i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
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Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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