At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
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