My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
