D3 body, D1 cock
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING