Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
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We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
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It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?