omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
27 Drunk People That Pissed Off The Cops And Got What They Deserved
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
These 25 Soulless Industries Have Been Scamming Us For Years
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...