My first STD was from a foam party
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
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