and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
All I want is dick and wine.
Congratulations! We have a period
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
