Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
