A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
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