I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
you never un-have a 4some
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
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