Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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