It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
There's even glitter on my cock...
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