come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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